Has your dating life been like a roller-coaster? Filled with highs and lows? And with more drama than a soap-opera? In large part, dating drama arises from our cultural norms about how to build relationships.
The type of relationships played out in movies, television, romance novels and our culture in general is largely based on the concept of romantic love. Romantic love is based on chemistry and physical attraction. Romance in a relationship is an important part of the relationship however, it’s not the ‘glue’ that keeps a relationships growing.
While chemistry and physical attraction are parts of a relationship, when you don’t keep them in balance with getting to know someone at a deep human level first, the usual outcome is a short-term relationship that literally encompasses your every waking hour and takes you out of your life and out of balance. You become enmeshed and lose yourself. That is not a healthy relationship!
A healthy relationship is founded on the principles of honesty, trust, transparency, mutual respect and most importantly – unconditional love or true love. Unconditional love means caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what you might get for yourself.
A healthy relationship starts with being friends first, before becoming lovers. It’s based on sharing similar life values and life vision with another person and with mutual respect.
Here are a few tips to ditch dating drama and instead start a relationship in a healthier way:
- Allow your levels of trust, love, commitment and physical touch to grow at the same pace.
- Allow the relationship and closeness to grow gradually over time.
- Wait at least 3 months before beginning a sexual relationship.
- Make the first three dates no more than 90 minutes each.
- Don’t go out more than once a week for the first couple months.
- Lead with your heart rather than your sexuality.
- Don’t confer loyalty to one person too soon; keep your options open!
- Stay hopeful and rest assured that there is someone out there for you.
Conclusion: Dating and relationships can be complex! If you’d like to find out more about how to ditch dating drama contact me at 512-922-4822 or email me: firstname.lastname@example.org.